Being an analytical list-maker has it’s great and not so great moments. By nature, you will find that you look at your life very closely. Making plans so as not to waste time, be effective, improve yourself, and not make mistakes. There are numerous areas in my life that I am working on, with trust skyrocketing to the top of that list.
Fall has arrived and another year is racing rapidly to a close, and the precious moments of this year will be deposited into my memory. The last quarter holds a few trips to corporate to facilitate training, and to sit on a live audience panel. Both activities; although frightening, are goals that I set for myself to push past my comfort zone with public speaking and truly waltz with the world in harmony with my purpose. I must trust that I am ready.
The last three months of this year will pass quickly with the holidays, my writing, and more transitions in my life, as I have made the decision to move and share a home with my family. So as I reflect on my second year of living alone and the transformation that I have experienced personally over the last few years, I play with idea of my future. I will be the first to admit that my choices in life have taken me into relationships that make me question my ability to make sound choices. The easy-going trust that I had for people early in my life feels like it has dissipated.
The steps I take now are much more focused and cautious, as not to repeat the mistakes of the past. I sit and contemplate if I am capable of trust again. In doing so, I have learned some valuable lessons about trust.
Your Path To Trust
Have you ever found yourself facing a decision to trust or love someone, with no clarity as to the path to take? Did you do as I did, and move forward without taking enough time to consider your thoughts, over your emotions? A heart that is in love without thinking can feel like you’re walking in a snow storm. You are blinded and unable to see around you and each step is a step of faith. As human beings, I believe that we are very much alike you and I. Yet for all of our similarities, no two people are the same. You may have developed issues with trusting and loving people due to hurts or losses in your own past that are different from mine, yet the fear is quite real.
The simple definition of trust refers to the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, and trustworthy. It is this definition that presents a struggle to every one of us, as we use this as a gauge in relationships. Whether it is a partner, family member, or friend, most people fall short at one time or another when it comes to the delivery of trust. We all can make bad decisions and create situations that can blind side us before we realize it. If we can see that in ourselves, how can we hold others accountable for falling short?
Where To Begin…
The best place to begin healing is to see the “human side” of ourselves and others that make us less than perfect. We all can fall short, but good and long-lasting relationships cannot be built on suspicion. As I dig deep into my own thoughts on trust and recognize the imperfection in myself, I have begun to see it like I do many things in my life. It’s more about how I see and react to what life brings me that matters. While I don’t want to be betrayed by my friend or partner, I don’t want my life to be limited by my fears.
Give those you care about the benefit of the doubt and allow your relationship to unfold. Take the steps to love from an unselfish perspective to those around you. You cannot live your life walking around expecting everyone you meet to hurt and disappoint you. In fact, if you take the time to examine your life you will likely see a pattern of people in your life that have not hurt you. Yes, there are those who have; however, there are many more that have not. Your ability to trust is well worth the deep and long-lasting relationships that you will experience. I’m beginning to see that for myself. Of all the great people I have met and extended the hand of trust to, their numbers far outweigh the ones that have disappointed or hurt me.
Accepting this as fact helps us experience life through a different lens. We; I included, begin to understand that we can only be truly responsible for ourselves and our own actions. Focusing on what we can control and not placing tremendous pressure on ourselves to always be looking at the actions of others.
Trust In Your Wings – Believe In Yourself
So let’s circle back to the meaning of trust, it means to be reliable, good, honest, and trustworthy. Perhaps when we question the ability to trust someone, we should stop looking at the other person. Begin to accept that someone elses decision and choices in life belong to them and we are not responsible for them. The only thing that is truly in our control is to cultivate the values of trust in ourselves. Our ability to strengthen our internal compass will serve us well in our journey in life.
So the lesson learned is that I know the life I want to live. I know what the next few steps will be. I do not however know what obstacles may get in my way or how my next steps may be altered along the way. All I can do, and all you can do is keep taking the steps in life that feel right based on where you are. You must learn to trust yourself to make the right decisions and alter your path when needed.
Your clarity will come as you begin to identify the life you want. You will trust yourself, and when something out of your control happens you need only adjust your next step.
`•.¸.•´ Until Next Time,
¸.•´¸.•¨) ¸.•) Sherri
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ (¸.•¨¯`♥